A Christmas Surrender
This entire Christmas season was ruined.
Illness struck our home and took its sweet time to make the rounds. This wasn’t just a ‘grab me another tissue and we will hop on the sleigh ride’ kind of sick, no, it was a ‘I wonder if we will come out of this alive to see Christmas day’ kind of sick.
My expectations and exciting plans for the season were slowly crushed.
Christmas parties and special surprises that had been planned for months were cancelled- over and over.
With 2 weeks until Christmas eve, we didn't even have a tree. We just had an empty corner with an empty tree-stand that the cat sat by, waiting for us to fill it with water…and a tree.
I was crushed.
What were we going to do without a beautiful family photo in the snow for our Christmas card?
I continued to pray for health with each upcoming events- plays, concerts, traditions we have had since they were born- and just as I said ‘amen,’ someone else got sick.
Finally, I gave up. I lost the last bit of Christmas spirit I had and expressed to my family, in defeat, that I was giving up on the hope that I could salvage Christmas.
Christmas was ruined.
Just then, my oldest piped up and said “Mom, it’s only ruined because you are ruining it.
You have a bad attitude and that is making everything miserable.”
Silence followed, with a few quiet nods coming from the rest.
The next morning, after pondering her words, I surrendered.
I stopped praying for health and prayed, instead, for peace, for adjusted expectations, and for joy in God's plan, although it looked vastly different than mine.
As I finished praying, I looked up, and there, outside the window, was the entire towns' squirrel population pillaging the beautiful basket of treats I left out for the delivery men.
There was nothing to do but laugh.
I couldn't help but think that God brought the squirrels to see if I was really relinquishing control of this season and trusting Him with His plan.
And you know what? With that laughter I released it all and began to embrace the cancelled plans that were replaced with reading books, playing games, and watching endless Christmas movies together (between wiping surfaces, wiping noses, and wiping tears.)
The “big things” were in the small things this year, like an exhausted and sick daddy making his way out to hang the lights on the playhouse to surprise his littlest, and the smile on her face when she saw them glowing in the dark.
This year we were forced to strip down all the extras and fully embrace the most important things: one another, the beauty of surrender, and above all, a God that can be trusted in our plan B.
He is, after all, what it is all about!
We are finally better now, and I can honestly say that this might be one of my favorite Christmas seasons I’ve had.